... but not tonight.
Tonight, I opened up my box of letters, hunting for one in particular. Rifling through the box unearthed some forgotten letters and cards and being me, I couldn't help but open a few and read them.
#1. There comes a time in every relationship, and even some friendships, when a bit of hard work is required to keep the friendship going. Crunch time, and the way both parties handle the situation determines the outcome. We'd exchanged countless letters, and this was one of the particularly... meaningful ones, although I don't think I fully realised it at the time. I probably didn't want to understand at the time, maybe I even glossed over some of it, or didn't absorb the full meaning, the way one is inclined to *react*, rather than *respond* to a situation, when emotions are involved. Interesting to pick up now, when I'm at a different stage of life, yet I found myself reading it and gleaning some insight for the current situation I find myself in. One of those "I'd never thought of it in that way before" moments that are transferable from one time to another.
#2. I made a brief mention in my last post about the beginnings of friendships, and how it's often difficult to tell right from the start what sort of friendship it's going to be. In any case, I rarely find myself consciously thinking "we're going to get along really well and this is a friendship that just might last" after knowing someone for a few days or weeks. I tend to just enjoy the process. This was a particularly timely and enriching friendship, while it lasted. At some point I decided to print out some email exchanges, ones I'd decided I wanted to keep and re-read for memory's sake. To recall how I once was, how we once were. After all, it's difficult to gauge the journey and progress made over time without occasional references to where one used to be.
Sometimes people seem to think I should let the past stay in the past, and not bring up old history... and it makes me wonder what they think of their own history. I'm who I am now thanks in part to their input into my life, and so why not remember the good times and appreciate them for what they were? Why not smile ruefully about the things that could have been done better, and learn from those experiences?
Anyway... (I think it still irritates me slightly when it happens in conversation...)
#3. Another email. Another good friend. One of those on again, off again friendships that has survived the tumultuous years of school, university, and various geographic locations. This particular email is at least 6-7 years old now, and it's funny how the contents of the email are particularly relevant again today, so many years later. We've changed, and the consequences of decisions we made back then are only now showing themselves. It's a precious thing, to have friends who have been there since way back when. It's good to have been re-acquainted with you in 2011, and I think I'm even more aware now of how easy it is to pick things back up with you.
#4. A pack of letters, handwritten. Even after all these years, I still hold that handwritten letters win over emails (and a paragraph of email trumps an sms any day). Back then we were young and innocent, and we made a truckload of amazing memories. Now we're older, no longer as close, but as 2011 proved, there's still something there. Friendships like these are difficult to come by, and I hope ours continues until we're all old and grey. Here's to a reunion some time!
#5. A card I'd forgotten about, and was therefore very much pleased to read again. Was it really only 3 months that we knew each other? Your words, re-read, were a refreshing splash of water. Out of all the letters and cards I picked up today, I think this was what I needed the most, though I didn't realise it when I started digging through the box. Thanks for reminding me what it is that I enjoy doing. Thanks for taking the time to tell me that I'd made an impact, however small, on your life. Thanks for checking in every now and then - one of the best ways to instantly pick up my mood =) Mostly... thanks for being part of my journey, and sharing yours with me.
#6. The one I was originally after. There's that special moment, holding the envelope in my hands, knowing that there is something good inside. There's something about the feel of crisp paper between my fingertips, combined with the anticipation of reading whatever thoughts have come packaged within, that makes for a delightful moment. I'm a sucker for stationery, and when good stationery is combined with a quality, meaningful handwritten message... well... you'd make it onto my cookie-baking list, that's for sure! (Actually, that theory has yet to be tested.) This card in particular was one of those where even the words that come printed on the card were perfect for the occasion, and I savoured every word of it. It's not just about the words, but the friendship behind it, back then, and now. Besides, what is the idea of friendship anyway, but the culmination of all those moments of friendship that have passed - I can't think of any friendship that I have today, without bringing to mind the journey that caused it to be what it is now.
So I look ahead to 2012 and wonder what it holds for friendships, old and new. Looking forward to it! =)
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